Hidup ini bagi gue sekarang semudah menarik nafas dan mengeluarkannya, gue merasa "tau-tau udah Senin", "tau-tau udah malem", "tau-tau gue udah semester 5" ,"tau-tau gue udah nikah(mungkin". Well, gue gak terlalu pay attention sama hal-hal di hidup gue kecuali 3 hal, Waktu gue bangun, waktu yang gue habiskan sama orang disekitar gue dan walktu gue kembali untuk tidur. Tiga hal reguler yang selalu dan setiap hari gue lakukan. Ketika gue bangun, dan itu kesiangan, gue realize banyak waktu yang akan kebuang sia-sia, kemungkinan buat telat, macet dan lain sebagainya akan mengikuti dibelakangnya. Saat gue dirumah, sebisa mungkin gue pengen banget berasa kalo gue ada dirumah, komunikasi sama mamah, sama semua orang rumah, tapi tetep aja gue pasti lebih banyak menghabiskan waktu buat diri gue sendiri and I know how selfish I am. Gue kadang ignore orang rumah kalo lagi dirumah, gue itu ya begitu.
Gue pernah nyesel senyesel-nyeselnya dulu, gue inget gue sering ignore bokap gue kalo ngelongok gue dari pintu kamar gue, dan sekarang gue cuma bisa nyesel. Gue gak mau hal ini kejadian lagi, cuma gue tetep dititik yang sama sampai sekarang, selfish. Gue terlalu menikmati hidup dan kehidupan gue sendiri sampai-sampai gue gak engeh dengan orang-orang sekitar gue yang merupakan "kehidupan" gue sesungguhnya. Gue gak ngerti cara jalanin hidup menjadi "manusia yang pada umumnya" and in the end, I just found out myself back on my own gadget or laptop in my bedroom. No talking, just sat in front of it until I have to go back to sleep again.
Gue sebenernya pengen banget punya kegiatan diluar kamar gue, sama nyokap gue ngobrol, sama kakak-kakak gue dan keponakan-keponakan gue. Cuma, gue running out the time I guess. Gue bangun udah siang, nyokap udah selesai berkebun, keponakan gue yang gede udah berangkat sekolah dan yang kecil kadang ada kadang pergi sama ibunya dan kadang main ke tetangga, dan lagi gue telat, gue kehabisan waktu. Gue lalu cuma bisa menyesali kenapa gue buang pagi gue sia-sia dan gue cuma bisa menyesal, tiap harinya. Waktu gue sama nyokap yang benar-benar full adalah pas gue beranjak tidur, dan itupun kepotong juga karena biasanya nyokap udah tidur duluan dan gue? masih berkutat sama laptop gue dan akhirnya pagi yang sama pun terulang kembali, setiap harinya.
Kapan ya, gue bisa merubah kebiasaan ini, kapan dan gimana caranya? gue padahl lebih banyak ngabisin waktu diluar rumah dan ketika dirumah, gue layaknya orang yang ngekost, cuma numpang tidur doang. Gue berkali-kali bilang sama diri gue sendiri, gue harus berubah sebelum terlambat, terlambat? gue udah terlambat. But, gue at least try to do something recently. Trying to understand my mom with gardening, yeah, It kinda works for me. At least for now, when I am in holiday, NYE holiday to be exact. I bought some seeds online and well, It works, for now, and I hope it will work for sure. Gue gak berharap banyak, gue pengen punya hal yang bisa gue share bareng mamah, gue pengen bisa memulai pembicaraan sama mamah, nanya ini itu sama mamah, dan lain sebagainya sama mamah. I hope it will work, this kind of things, I will do my best. Gue pengen kebun mamah bukan cuma dihiasi pepohonan mamah dan bapak tapi gue ada pohon gue disana.
Edisi curhatnya ini bakal gue tutup sama lagu kesukaan gue saat ini, arti liriknya aja ya, karena lagu ini bagus banget dan merupakan ost dari Goblin.
Here they are:
Lasse Lindh – Hush
Through the endless daydream
I saw you on the way back
There I walked with you in my arms
Through the blurry darkness
Who’s veiling on the twilight
We’ve been far away from my fears
Somewhere else I’ll see you
Our days be like a blossom
Blooming all around you
so bright
By and by, I’ll miss you
and your laugh like a sunshine
Fading into shadow of tears
All around me is your light
With you, everything so shines
How come we’ll leave all behind?
Cause your love is falling on my heart
And I’m falling for you
Falling with broken wings again
Hush now, my angel
I will always be with you
In your pretty smile
in a glow of tears
Out across the frosty night
I’ll be there with you
Maybe someday
you’ll wake up alone without me
But don’t cry again,
I’ll be waiting here
Where the moon is on the rise
As the olden days
I could just go with you
between our time
Where they can’t find us
somehow
You could just come away
with me, out there
Where we could dream away
All day
Hush now, my angel
I will always be with you
In your pretty smile
in a glow of tears
Out across the frosty night
I’ll be there with you
Maybe you‘ll always breath in me
ever in my heart
All the little pieces of you
look how they shine above
Come away with me tonight
We’ll be dreaming away there
Maybe you‘ll always breath in me
ever in my heart
All the little pieces of you
look how they shine above
Come away with me tonight
We’ll be dreaming away there
Always
Source: https://popgasa.com/2016/12/13/lasse-lindh-hush-goblin-ost/
Ini lagu kedua:
Sam Kim - Who Are You
Where I amWho I amI’m trapped in this bitternessA lot of people walked past meThis place is where everyone just walked past meWhere I amWho are youWho are youI can’t hide this happinessI flipped the world to find youYou who came into my dreamsWhere are youI will find youI will reconize youDespite where you areDespite who you areI will reconize youI will rememberI will look at youEven when you are not hereEven when many sunsets pass byI won’t forget youI will cherish everything your words to your expressionsThe gloomy sky the silent cloudsI wonder why I am afraid of everythingThe time I spend with you is slowing downI hold your hand to stop it from parting awayI beg for lifeI will find youI will reconize youDespite where you areDespite who you areI will reconize youI will rememberI will look at youEven when you are not hereEven when many sunsets pass byI won’t forget youWhen I hold you tight like thisI keep forgeting about everythingThe place I have to return toI will find youI will reconize youDespite where you areDespite who you areI will reconize you
I will rememberI will look at youEven when you are not hereEven when many sunsets pass byI won’t forget youI will cherish everything your words to your expressions
Crush - Beautiful
It’s a beautiful lifeI’ll stay by your sideIt`s a beautiful lifeI’ll stand right behind youbeautiful loveIf I am with you under this skyJust breathing alone makes me happyIt`s a beautiful lifebeautiful dayI live in your memoriesbeautiful lifebeautiful dayStay by my sidebeautiful my lovebeautiful your heartIt`s a beautiful lifeIt`s a beautiful lifeIt’s a beautiful lifeI’ll always protect youIt`s a beautiful lifeSo lean on mebeautiful loveYour tears, your smileSo we can be togetherIt`s a beautiful lifebeautiful dayI loved you like crazybeautiful life beautiful dayI don’t wanna lose youbeautiful my lovebeautiful your heartIt`s a beautiful lifeMemories that resemble youRemain with meYour memories, your recollectionsIt`s a sorrowful lifesorrowful dayI can’t win over sadnesssorrowful life sorrowful daySo don’t leave meSo I won’t live just in your memoriesIt`s a beautiful life
Punch & Chanyeol - Stay with Me
When I close my eyesI see those eyesMy heart kept achingSo I wanted to forgetIf this is a dream, please let me wake upAre you really my destiny?Falling youLike destiny, fallingYou’re calling out to me, callingI can’t escapePlease hold meAre you the line of my fate?Are you the one I’ve been waiting for?Why is my heart sinking?(Stay With Me)Are you livingDeep in my heart?(Stay With Me)The truth hidden in meWhen I close my eyesI see those eyesMy heart kept achingSo I wanted to forgetIf this is a dream, please let me wake upAre you really my destiny?Falling youMy heart is racingI’m still looking at youBecause I keep running out of breathI’m still watching over youFrom far awayWhy am I being like this?Different from the moment I first saw youThis time of fate is passing slowlyMy heart was heading towards youMy heart was racing againThe faint light was turned offBut my eyes are lighting up again because of youFeels like I’ve loved you from a long time agoFeels like I’m being pulled by something(Stay With Me)Are you livingDeep in my heart?(Stay With Me)The truth hidden in meWhen I close my eyesI see those eyesMy heart kept achingSo I wanted to forget
If this is a dream, please let me wake upAre you really my destiny?Falling you
Semua lirik diatas gue ambil dari: http://lyricstranslate.com/en/goblin-ost-lyrics.html
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